And here's another clue that I am in denial. I am still eating meat and drinking wine just like I was before my diagnosis. In my head I know that I need to cut out the acidic animal products and alcohol. I know that I need to eat more veggies and drink green juices. I even have a $200 Breville Juicer collecting dust on a shelf in my kitchen.
After all that I have been through, why am I behaving this way?
According to Wikipedia, denial is a defense mechanism "in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence."
There are three types of denial: simple denial, minimization and projection. I definitely fall into the category of minimization which is admitting a fact ("Yes, I had breast cancer.") but denying its seriousness ("It was caught early. I had chemo. I feel fine. I will be fine...").
The truth is, I had breast cancer. And if I want to avoid a recurrence or another breast cancer, I need to pull my head out of the sand and get serious.
In my mind, "getting serious" means:
- Eliminating alcohol.
- Going vegan.
- Exercising at least 3 hours per week.
- Meditating every day.
- Taking yoga classes.
- Drinking green juices every day.
Comments on Comments:
Catherine - Thank you for being the first to follow my new blog! I hope you are recovering from your recent reconstruction surgery. Yes, a long road ahead for sure but I think the worst is behind us.
Mandi - Hi there! Thanks for following me over here. We are not at 29 years yet - just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. As I was writing my anniversary card to my husband, I told him that now I understand what "in sickness and in health" really means.
Evelyne - Girl! How are you? I hope you are doing well and enjoying life. Thanks for stopping by to leave me a comment. How do you like my "Comments on Comments" section? Does it look familiar? haha!
Liz - Thank you for finding my blog. I just popped over to read yours and yes, we do have some similarities in our breast cancer experiences. You look wonderful with short hair! I hope you are feeling well and taking your tamoxifen every day. I will continue reading your blog to get caught up.